Finally

Well it took me almost a week but the fact that I’m here has finally sunk in. Shock, Panic, Denial, Remorse… all those feelings you never really want to feel. All experienced in rapid succession (not necessarily in that order). I’ve decided that I’m not ready to start working right away. It’s going to make things a little more difficult, but why the hell would I rush back into a job? I have this great opportunity, I’m in a far away land with 1000′s of things to do. Why restrict that activity to Weekends and after work? No job is as flexible as I want it to be, so I just wont work for awhile. A month, maybe two… maybe even three if I’m careful.

Hostelling is interesting. Everyone here pretends to know exactly what they’re doing but nobody has a fucking clue. Everyone wanders aimlessly. The problem I have is that there are too many options – What do I want to do today? Anything! I think that’s what’s scary : Not having a routine.
Auckland
Im not saying that I want one, but when you’ve spent around 20 years with one you start to go into submission.
I’m not saying I’m over it.
Hardly.
I’m just saying that its good to embrace the fear of the unknown.
Once you purge your routine, you realize what your real desires are.
What do you truly want? I honestly still have no idea (with one exception)

I sort of hesitated when I thought about writing all this, but fuck.
It’s time to go exploring.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 5th, 2005 at 4:55 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any comments to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.

  • Puff

    Hey where is that pic from…is it overlooking Wellington? I’m anxious to here the day to day stories of life there.No need to rush right into work..but then again…you never know what it might be like there and the people you’ll meet..If it sucks at least you get a few paycheques before you quit :)

    I think I need a laptop too now :(

    -Puff.

  • lyquidfyre

    Embrace it or die! Can you do no less? I’m just fucking with ya. :) Sooo how are you carrying your snowboard around? I mean it’s summer down there right now.

  • Brett

    dude, that’s fucking killer. DON’T WORK!! Head to the mountains, swim in the ocean… just stay outa that goddamn office.

  • Casey

    You left without giving me my books back. Wtf? That’s not cool.

  • http://www.isystech.net Trevor

    Puff – Actually its from a Volcano overlooking Auckland. It’s called Mt. Eden, it was a quick one hour hike. Looks pretty amazing from in there. I walked down to the base of it, pretty fucking cool stuff. Auckland is a fucking sterile city though. Its basically like Toronto – even has worse traffic.

    Lyquidfyre – I’m gonna sell my board. Got a few good days in, but the weather here has been too nice and it hasn’t been snowing at all! So everythings melting, the ski-season is just about over, and I feel partially cheated. However I can still brag about how I snowboarded for a few days on a goddamned active volcano. TAKE THAT! *BAM*

    Brett – You were right… I even went to some interviews but nobody could sell me on working in an office again. Swimming in the ocean is HIGH on the list of things to do. Still a bit nipply though.

    Casey – No its not cool. Sorry man.

  • lyquidfyre

    You’re selling the board? Oh well bye bye salomon bindings…bye bye.